Common Myths and Misconceptions About Personality Disorders
Personality disorders are among the most misunderstood mental health conditions. Despite affecting approximately 9.1% of adults in the United States, these conditions are surrounded by harmful myths and misconceptions that prevent people from seeking help and understanding.
The stigma surrounding these conditions often stems from misinformation rather than medical facts. Let's examine the most common myths and replace them with evidence-based truth.
What Are Some Myths About Personality Disorders?
Myth #1: It’s Just a Character Flaw
One of the most damaging misconceptions about personality disorders is that they are simply character flaws or moral failings. This couldn't be further from the truth.
The Reality:
Personality disorders are legitimate mental health conditions with biological, genetic, and environmental components.
Just as you wouldn't tell someone with diabetes to "just try harder," personality disorders aren't something people can simply choose to overcome through willpower alone.
People with such mental health issues require professional treatment and often a combination of therapy and medication.
Myth #2: They Always Show Dramatic Symptoms
Movies and television often portray people with personality disorders as obviously troubled individuals with extreme, visible behaviors. However, it does not look like it in real life.
The Reality:
Personality disorders exist on a spectrum, and many people experience symptoms that aren't immediately obvious to others. Many personality disorder symptoms are subtle. These include:
- Chronic feelings of emptiness
- Difficulty maintaining stable relationships
Myth #3: People With PDs Are Just “Attention-Seeking”
This one is specifically hurtful for the patients who are suffering from these disorders. When you dismiss the feelings of the PD patients, they often feel shame and are hesitant to tell others about their mental health.
The Reality:
What might appear as "attention-seeking" behavior is actually a manifestation of genuine emotional pain and difficulty regulating emotions.
So, if you see someone giving an intense emotional reaction or having extreme stress, be compassionate with them and don't tell them to just get over it. They are not seeking attention. They are actually losing control over their feelings at that moment.
Myth #4: People With Personality Disorders Are Dangerous or Violent
Perhaps no myth is more stigmatizing than the belief that people with personality disorders are inherently dangerous. This misconception about personality disorders causes tremendous harm and prevents many from seeking help.
The Reality:
The vast majority of people with personality disorders are not violent and cause no danger to others. In fact, research indicates that people with personality disorders are far more likely to be victims of violence rather than perpetrators.
Myth #5: They Can’t Have Normal Relationships With Others
Many people believe that personality disorders make healthy relationships impossible. This myth keeps people isolated and hopeless about their future.
The Reality:
While personality disorders can make relationships more challenging, they don't make meaningful connections impossible. With appropriate treatment, people with personality disorders can develop and maintain healthy relationships.
Many people with personality disorders are in long-term partnerships and have close friendships in different circles of people. So, it is possible to have a normal life despite having personality disorders.
Find Therapy Services That Specialize in Personality Disorders
If you or someone you care about is dealing with a personality disorder, finding specialized care is crucial. The mental health experts at Boston Neurobehavioral Associates can provide comprehensive care to these patients, including any co-occurring conditions like depression or anxiety.
FAQs
What Not to Say to Someone With BPD?
You don't say phrases like "you're overreacting," "you're too sensitive," or "just calm down" to a person with BPD. These sentences invalidate the emotional feelings of the person, and it can be really discouraging for their long-term mental health. Instead, use validating language, such as "I can see you're really struggling right now" or "your feelings are valid, even if I see things differently."
How to Tell if Someone Has a Personality Disorder?
To tell if someone has a personality disorder, look for persistent patterns that have been present since adolescence or early adulthood. For example:
- Chronic relationship instability
- Intense fear of abandonment
- Impulsive behaviors
However, only qualified mental health professionals can diagnose personality disorders correctly.
Can People With Personality Disorder Be Happy?
Yes, absolutely. People with borderline personality disorder can have a happy life. Therapies like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help them regulate emotions and have a normal life.
What Are the Biggest Triggers for Someone With Personality Disorders?
The biggest triggers for someone with personality disorders are:
- Sudden rejection
- Criticism
- Arguments
- Perceived judgment
- Stressful life changes
How to Interact With Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder?
To interact with someone with borderline personality disorder, you have to:
- Set clear boundaries
- Validate their emotions
- Stay calm during their emotional outbursts


